I ready an article about it that said "It is sad that society has accepted these get togethers, as they are ways of fishing for gifts". What’s your opinion? I don’t like attending/hosting them myself personally… Anyone see it as a party to buy someone gifts?

I think it depends on how they’re done. I’ve seen some way over the top baby/wedding showers where the least expensive gift on the registry was $50.

My maid of honor is throwing me one because she said it’s the easiest way to get the registry info out there. The majority (75+%) of our registry has gifts $30 and under. 10+% of our registry has gifts $10 and under.

21 Responses to “Anyone think that wedding/baby showers are bad, unclassy ways to ask for gifts?”

  • barthebear says:

    I think they are dated since it used to be necessary when a woman moved out of her parents house to marry that she set up housekeeping. She had nothing in the way of pots and pans and bed linens. So it was helpful many decades ago. But now it has gotten way out of hand. Baby showers with tons of expensive gifts that really are not necessary. I say send a gift with a regret you cannot attend since they are SO BORING
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  • Ashley says:

    for me i see it as a way for the women in his family and mine to get together and a way for them to get to know each other better. i dont see it as an appropite time for gifts
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  • sweetea says:

    I think it’s a way for women to get together and celebrate a special time in another woman’s life. I totally see what you mean about them seeming like gift-fishing, but I really think it’s a rite of passage.

    I don’t like couple’s showers though, because that takes away the specialness of the women’s gatherings. And when people have multiple showers and I am invited to both, I usually only bring a gift to one, or two small gifts, as that does seem to be on the greedy side (to invite the same people to multiple showers).

    Whenever I am invited to a party, I try to bring a little "hospitality" gift, as a thank you for the invite.
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  • Praizegirls says:

    I think it depends on how they’re done. I’ve seen some way over the top baby/wedding showers where the least expensive gift on the registry was $50.

    My maid of honor is throwing me one because she said it’s the easiest way to get the registry info out there. The majority (75+%) of our registry has gifts $30 and under. 10+% of our registry has gifts $10 and under.
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  • navillus_100 says:

    I don’t mind them, we had a lovely engagement party that didn’t involve gifts if any kind…I think it is right to celebrate these happy days as many ways as you can.
    http://navillus99.blogspot.com
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  • Mrs B 8-16-08 says:

    I think they are for the most party a gift/money grab…but it’s also a social event. I personally hate them, but then again, I’m not into these kind of things in the first place and go out of my way to avoit them.
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  • pspoptart says:

    It’s not really gift fishing unless you are throwing the shower for yourself. What’s up on the chopping block next……should we not have Birthday parties because we are "gift fishing"?

    Its a sign of support for the upcoming marriage and helping the couple get off to a good start. I don’t see anything wrong with that. Besides, shower gifts are usually small like some spatulas or cleaning supplies…nothing that would break the bank and more of an excuse to get together and say "Congragulations" than anything else.
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  • bluegirl6 says:

    I have always thought of showers as a way of fishing for gifts. You cant argue that they are not. Try showing up at one without a gift, and see how popular you are.
    I had a friend once and within a year we had her 21st, engagement party, bridal shower, pantry party (to stock the pantry) Hens night (we were expected to bring lingerie for her) the wedding and then housewarming party. At the end of it all everyone was complaining about how many gifts they had to buy this girl.
    I never had any kind of shower before my first wedding when I was 18. And I had nothing for my home at that stage. I am remarrying this year and I wont be having any showers. They just seem pointless. I might have a get together with the girls, for drinks but wont be expecting any gifts.
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  • iloveweddings says:

    Hi. I don’t view it that way at all. Bridal showers (and baby showers) have been going on for many, many decades. It is a fun way for all the women to get together.

    I don’t look at it as a gift grab by any means. What is a gift grab is all the brides who say "I have everything I need, so I want to ask for money….how do I do that?" This question is asked almost daily and is getting annoying.

    Personally I don’t mind going to either a bridal shower or a baby shower. There is usually good food, good conversation and it’s only a couple of hours (we don’t play games in my neck of the woods), so it’s all fun.
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  • melouofs says:

    That is the point of shower, no doubt. Just the same, I don’t mind helping a couple just starting out or one having a baby. You could always decline the invitations-that is certainly your right. I really do like them–I so enjoyed hosting my cousin’s as her MOH, and mine in November was one of my favorite days, ever. The experience of all these people coming out for no other reason than in support of me was really a tremendous feeling, and one I will always cherish.
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  • marchhareinjune says:

    I always thought bridal/baby showers were a nice way to bond with friends and family. The presents make it even better because it’s like being a kid again & going to a birthday party ~ only with out all of the screaming kids, so it’s even better lol!

    Besides, I actually *like* watching the women open up gifts. Yes, most of it is boring ~ but sometimes there is something really unique, a good idea, or a funny, personal gift.

    I’ll probably get thumbs down ~ but I love the corny games and I enjoy wrapping & giving presents =) I never once thought of it as fishing for gifts ~ I just think of it as a nice tradition.
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  • Liz says:

    I do think it is a way of fishing for gifts. If someone wants a baby, they should have the income to get what they need for the baby. I like to buy gifts without being asked but i hate to feel obligated to give something.
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  • benitadoeshair says:

    Only if it is your second wedding/baby shower.
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  • Soon2BMrsGupta says:

    I don’t know how I feel. In my family gifts aren’t the main point of a shower. We more or less spend hours giving advice and taking it and sharing stories. Some people don’t even bring gifts with them, so I think its a different feeling for me.

    When I see my friends showers though, I never resent them but there is a bit of confusion I suppose.
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  • Steph says:

    I believe they are parties with the sole purpose of receiving gifts. Because of that I don’t believe they are necessary in todays society as generally you receive gifts for the wedding anyway.
    I don’t like them. I have only ever been to one which was boring as!
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  • Tiger says:

    I don’t see anything wrong with it. It’s not like it’s something that society just started. I think people now are just getting ridiculous with bringing down people for having weddings, showers, birthdays, etc. I feel that it is a great way to be with your friends and family and I loooooove to buy people gifts and watch their reactions when receiving gifts. I am a giver. Now if this is your 2nd baby or marriage I don’t think it is necessary because you could have kept the other things for your child from the 1st go round. A lot of times a friend or family member plans the shower as a surprise for the bride or new mom.

    I feel if people have an issue with it then decline to go, but don’t make it like everyone is gift hungry, we eat and play lots of games and reminisce on our own times as a new bride or new mom. Babies need things and it helps a couple out to give them diapers or bottles or a blanket. When you have a baby you can never have too many diapers or t-shirts!
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  • Just*Call*Me*Mrs.H! says:

    Here’s something to think about:

    My bridal shower is coming up in April….and already food, door prizes, gifts and favors have totaled close to $600 dollars. We are having one shower for my family, friends and my fiance’s family…so in total it is a lot of women.

    Others may run their bridal showers different, but with mine, we felt everyone should leave with something other than the favor…plus we are having door prizes and game prizes. The venue we booked also serves the food…so that alone is costly.

    I think when you look at the big scheme of things, both the party-throwers and party-goers spend just about the same amount of money. To throw a party is not free, so I know when I attend a baby or bridal shower, I do not feel bad at ALL for bringing a gift nor do I think the person is fishing for a gift. Having a baby and getting married are the two most important experiences in a woman’s life….they SHOULD be celebrated.
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    BTB 5/31/08 :)

  • angeldust_599 says:

    I have a problem with wedding showers, but not baby. my problem with wedding showers is that the wedding is the actual big event. people give a gift at the wedding so why should they have to give another gift at the shower too? especially since times have changed and so many couples are living together now days and dont really need anything so they ask for silly little things they want. I never had a shower when I married. I didnt want anything to do with it. in terms of a baby shower, the gifts are for the baby more then they are the couple. its giving a little something to a new little someone who will bring something to the lives of the people attending. the baby shower gift usually is the gift. most dont send another something when the baby is born too. or if they do its by choice. its not like people are invited to the shower then to the birthing of the baby too. I love baby showers and picking out a little outfit or some blankets for a new little one, but I dont attend wedding showers.
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  • Ms. X says:

    The point of a shower is to "shower someone with gifts." And I think that’s terrific. It’s a way to honor them, share a special life cycle event with them, and have a good time with them and their friends and family. Showers are only unclassy gift grabs when hosted by the showeree.

    If you don’t like them, by all means don’t go. Showers should be attended by people who genuinely want to be there to support the person of honor.
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  • Luv2Answer says:

    I think that baby showers are great. I think that wedding showers are tacky. I didn’t even have one myself. I didn’t want my friends and family to have to buy me another gift when they had already spent so much. Baby showers are useful and people really need the things they get.
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  • hitchnj says:

    i think showers are fine as long as i don’t have to plan it or pay for it…
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